Friday, June 16, 2006
Bits & Pieces of Life
Bits & Pieces of Life
Still feeling quite sore over what happened yesterday. Nothing really big happened actually, maybe it was just the accumulation of little things that made me so upset and maybe it is always the same old thing. Guess I just felt that my views or opinions were never really that important, cuz at the end of the day, everything still gets done his way and I basically just have to fit into the picture. I told my hubby that all I wanted all along was to get married, stay in Singapore, get a flat and lead a normal life with a normal, decent job. Although it was something so simple, yet I was nothing close to that. And after so many discussions on how much I wished we could go back to Singapore, the conclusion is still the same and I'm just so tired. Yeah, I can't say for sure that we won't be going back for good soon, but at the moment, I dun feel that he has any concrete plan to pack his bags and head back to Singapore any time soon. It's certainly not in his plans so I really dunno what's going to happen to me....
He asked me, "Dun I want to give our children a better life next time?" Sure, I would want to, but does it mean that the ONLY way we can do it is by working for his cousin in Vietnam or Malaysia? I dun see how, if we work in Spore, we can't provide decently for our kids in future. Furthermore, it's not like we didn't have much of an education. Both of us are graduates and we should have decent earning powers in Singapore where qualifications are recognised and families are deemed important, unlike here. And if you are talking about giving our kids whatever they want and giving in to their whims and fancies, I m not about to let our kids grow up that way, thinking they are "princes" or "princesses". It doesn't mean that if children get whatever they want when they are young, it means that they have the best life. Cuz in the process, they lose sight of certain important values and take things for granted and when they grow up, they crumble if they encounter hardship.
I would want our children to be brought up, with good values, appreciating what they have and not to learn to show off just because they have a comfortable life. One of my friends, who is very well-off (she is holding a managerial post and her husband is a pilot) once told me that although they had no problems with money, she never let her 2 kids think that they can get whatever they wanted or whatever their friends had, cuz she didn't want them to become "spoilt" and take for granted that the family had money and could easily afford what they wanted. So she said that although her children came home, telling her that their classmates bought this or that or went to Disneyland or whatever, she never gave them the impression that she will do just as what their friends' parents had done. She teaches them good values before giving them any rewards she may have for them and I think that's a good way. And no, she isn't one of those parents who forces their children to study and get top grades before rewarding them as well. Cuz at the end of the day, results don't make a person. Sure, it helps you sail through school if you always get top grades, but that's about it. There's a lot to life just plain grades.
Yeah, I know my hubby is not saying that he wants to work in this line for a lifetime, but to me, a few years is bad enough. Cuz what will happen to my job? There is basically nothing I can do here, that will give me the kind of pay I was getting in Spore, nothing even close to it. And to me, whatever experience he may have gained in this job will probably not be very relevant when he goes back to Singapore to look for another job and the longer he drags it, the more it will be so.
Oh well...I just feel that I m not in a position to do anything. Talks..we have had loads of them..but it's no use lah, the conclusion is always the same. And at times, he will say out of anger "Ok lah, if this is what you want, I will resign and I go back to Spore." Yeah, that's what I want but it certainly isn't what he wants from his tone. I feel that it's about OUR life not just about HIS life alone...
So I m feeling damn upset now...and the worst thing is I dun even have friends to talk to here. Yeah, we keep in tough via msn but it's different from being able to meet up or talk face to face.
And if you are thinking about Apple, I dun really see her as much of a friend. She is just something like a future sister-in-law, cuz honestly, I feel that we are very different persons with very different values and perceptions about life. So can maintain conversation on a very surface & cordial level but that's about it. I dun foresee myself ever sharing with her anything very deep.
She just came back from China but anyway, it doesn't make a big deal of a difference to me whether she is around or not. Cuz early this morning, she already went to her favourite hideout of all times, the casino. And when she came back yesterday, she was complaining non-stop about my bro-in-law's friend's girlfriend. Honestly, although I dunno that girlfriend very well and can't say much about her, but sometimes I think that the way she criticises people maybe abit too much lah. Think about it, if you were in that person's shoes, you would probably have reacted the same way. And the things she tells me also reveals that perhaps she felt a tad guilty about the way she spends money.
She related that my bro-in-law's friend's gf, who is in her mid 30s and quite a high income earner, said something like this to her, "Actually, I earn my own money and buy my own stuff, I dunno why my bf always complain and tell me to stop buying this and that. It's not like I m spending his money." Well, Apple found that offensive, cuz she said that the girlfriend seemed to imply that altho Apple herself was not earning money, she was still spending my bro-in-law's money. Actually, I told her that she was too sensitive lah, it was probably just a mindless comment. But Apple thought otherwise and told me that she felt that the girlfriend did it on purpose.
To me, anyway, what the person said was true what, feel offended for what? It's true that she is not working and was lucky to have found a guy who can afford to pay for her Armani jeans and LV bag what...you correct me if the statement has no truth in it? Even my friends who are working, have to consider very hard before they want to splurge on that Gucci or LV bag, and her, not even working, can afford such luxuries without battling an eyelid. I think it's time she takes stock of her own blessings..
And she said something like "that girlfriend thinks she is very big deal, just because she is earning alot of money...unlike US, (i.e. me and her), who are dependent on our partners and spend our partners' money...."
Well, maybe the part where the girlfriend feels proud that she is earning a high income has some truth in it but why link it to "US"? I dun think we are anything similar and I dun yearn to be anything close. She is the one who gets 4,5 thousand USD to spend each time she travels back to her home country. I dun think I m very dependent on my hubby financially except for now (and that's because I dun have a choice), but then over here in Vietnam, my hubby & I dun spend much too, except on food & daily necessities. Back in Spore, when I was earning my own money, I also pay for my own things most of the time. Makeup, clothes, skincare, petrol, I pay for them myself. And although I have a sub card under him, I have never used it except for instances when he asked me to sign it in his presence. Yeah, once in a while, my hubby also pays for little items for me and yes, he does pay for meals & movie tickets almost 100% of the time, but that's about it. Big ticket items, which I desire, are paid for out of my own pay, unless it's birthdays or anniversaries..so how can she say we are similar? Furthermore, I m not a sucker for branded stuff..
He asked me, "Dun I want to give our children a better life next time?" Sure, I would want to, but does it mean that the ONLY way we can do it is by working for his cousin in Vietnam or Malaysia? I dun see how, if we work in Spore, we can't provide decently for our kids in future. Furthermore, it's not like we didn't have much of an education. Both of us are graduates and we should have decent earning powers in Singapore where qualifications are recognised and families are deemed important, unlike here. And if you are talking about giving our kids whatever they want and giving in to their whims and fancies, I m not about to let our kids grow up that way, thinking they are "princes" or "princesses". It doesn't mean that if children get whatever they want when they are young, it means that they have the best life. Cuz in the process, they lose sight of certain important values and take things for granted and when they grow up, they crumble if they encounter hardship.
I would want our children to be brought up, with good values, appreciating what they have and not to learn to show off just because they have a comfortable life. One of my friends, who is very well-off (she is holding a managerial post and her husband is a pilot) once told me that although they had no problems with money, she never let her 2 kids think that they can get whatever they wanted or whatever their friends had, cuz she didn't want them to become "spoilt" and take for granted that the family had money and could easily afford what they wanted. So she said that although her children came home, telling her that their classmates bought this or that or went to Disneyland or whatever, she never gave them the impression that she will do just as what their friends' parents had done. She teaches them good values before giving them any rewards she may have for them and I think that's a good way. And no, she isn't one of those parents who forces their children to study and get top grades before rewarding them as well. Cuz at the end of the day, results don't make a person. Sure, it helps you sail through school if you always get top grades, but that's about it. There's a lot to life just plain grades.
Yeah, I know my hubby is not saying that he wants to work in this line for a lifetime, but to me, a few years is bad enough. Cuz what will happen to my job? There is basically nothing I can do here, that will give me the kind of pay I was getting in Spore, nothing even close to it. And to me, whatever experience he may have gained in this job will probably not be very relevant when he goes back to Singapore to look for another job and the longer he drags it, the more it will be so.
Oh well...I just feel that I m not in a position to do anything. Talks..we have had loads of them..but it's no use lah, the conclusion is always the same. And at times, he will say out of anger "Ok lah, if this is what you want, I will resign and I go back to Spore." Yeah, that's what I want but it certainly isn't what he wants from his tone. I feel that it's about OUR life not just about HIS life alone...
So I m feeling damn upset now...and the worst thing is I dun even have friends to talk to here. Yeah, we keep in tough via msn but it's different from being able to meet up or talk face to face.
And if you are thinking about Apple, I dun really see her as much of a friend. She is just something like a future sister-in-law, cuz honestly, I feel that we are very different persons with very different values and perceptions about life. So can maintain conversation on a very surface & cordial level but that's about it. I dun foresee myself ever sharing with her anything very deep.
She just came back from China but anyway, it doesn't make a big deal of a difference to me whether she is around or not. Cuz early this morning, she already went to her favourite hideout of all times, the casino. And when she came back yesterday, she was complaining non-stop about my bro-in-law's friend's girlfriend. Honestly, although I dunno that girlfriend very well and can't say much about her, but sometimes I think that the way she criticises people maybe abit too much lah. Think about it, if you were in that person's shoes, you would probably have reacted the same way. And the things she tells me also reveals that perhaps she felt a tad guilty about the way she spends money.
She related that my bro-in-law's friend's gf, who is in her mid 30s and quite a high income earner, said something like this to her, "Actually, I earn my own money and buy my own stuff, I dunno why my bf always complain and tell me to stop buying this and that. It's not like I m spending his money." Well, Apple found that offensive, cuz she said that the girlfriend seemed to imply that altho Apple herself was not earning money, she was still spending my bro-in-law's money. Actually, I told her that she was too sensitive lah, it was probably just a mindless comment. But Apple thought otherwise and told me that she felt that the girlfriend did it on purpose.
To me, anyway, what the person said was true what, feel offended for what? It's true that she is not working and was lucky to have found a guy who can afford to pay for her Armani jeans and LV bag what...you correct me if the statement has no truth in it? Even my friends who are working, have to consider very hard before they want to splurge on that Gucci or LV bag, and her, not even working, can afford such luxuries without battling an eyelid. I think it's time she takes stock of her own blessings..
And she said something like "that girlfriend thinks she is very big deal, just because she is earning alot of money...unlike US, (i.e. me and her), who are dependent on our partners and spend our partners' money...."
Well, maybe the part where the girlfriend feels proud that she is earning a high income has some truth in it but why link it to "US"? I dun think we are anything similar and I dun yearn to be anything close. She is the one who gets 4,5 thousand USD to spend each time she travels back to her home country. I dun think I m very dependent on my hubby financially except for now (and that's because I dun have a choice), but then over here in Vietnam, my hubby & I dun spend much too, except on food & daily necessities. Back in Spore, when I was earning my own money, I also pay for my own things most of the time. Makeup, clothes, skincare, petrol, I pay for them myself. And although I have a sub card under him, I have never used it except for instances when he asked me to sign it in his presence. Yeah, once in a while, my hubby also pays for little items for me and yes, he does pay for meals & movie tickets almost 100% of the time, but that's about it. Big ticket items, which I desire, are paid for out of my own pay, unless it's birthdays or anniversaries..so how can she say we are similar? Furthermore, I m not a sucker for branded stuff..
Kimmie scribbles
4:03 pm |