Thursday, June 29, 2006
Vietnamese Barangs...

Two denim pants I got here..Can't say they are anything really special cuz you can probably get similar ones in Singapore, but for the price I paid, I think it's really worth it. The pink one costs only SGD$10 while the blue one SGD$12!

Another pic of a jacket I bought...only SGD$12.50! Heehee

Kimmie scribbles
3:11 pm |

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
My Completed Cross-Stitch

After weeks of hard work, I finally completed my cross-stitch!! Piggy promised to let me put this up in our new house next time..heehee...

I hope I will have a nice customised cupboard with mirror (like those in the shops) to put all my precious moments figurines too..heehee...Piggy said I m "siao" but those precious moments collectibles worth alot of money leh..just that Piggy hasn't realised the worth of them all...heh heh...

Some time back, Piggy & I were discussing our wishlist for our love nest next time and we came up with a really long list. It really is exciting planning for a new place. I really hope we can buy a suitable place at a good location and price soon. Then, we can start thinking of ideas for the house. I have seen my friends go through the renovation process and it sure seems exciting and fun!

Then Piggy said we could do up our house the "racha" way...heehee..I really hope so, all white and clean-cut. Simple yet nice. And then everyday, will be like going home to a resort..heeheehee

Kimmie scribbles
6:06 pm |

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Coffee the vietnamese way...

Just learnt how to make vietnamese coffee from the maid, using this metal "device" which Piggy & I bought from the supermarket here, some time back. It is really simple, just need to put the coffee powder into the metal cup, put in the metal cap with the metal stick pointing out and add more coffee powder, then pour in boiling water and wait for the water to drip into the cup. Add condensed milk and there, you have your very own vietnamese coffee.

This is one of the vietnamese "delicacy" which Piggy & I love. Cuz both of us cannot stand vietnamese food, except for "Pho". Cuz Vietnamese cuisine comprise mainly raw vegetables, which is simply yucky to us. Perhaps, we haven't learnt the art of appreciating it..

Kimmie scribbles
5:52 pm |

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Sunday, June 25, 2006
Super Goody Weekend...

Had a fantastic weekend..haven't had such a good time in Vietnam in a while..


Yesterday (Sat), Piggy & I watched movie for the 1st time in Vietnam! Yes, we went to watch MI-3. It was really great! I think I haven't caught a movie with Piggy for a long, long time. Heee..


Then we went to this cafe nearby to drink coffee..although the drinks sucked, but at least, for almost the whole day, we had time to ourselves and did things that we would normally have done in Singapore. Felt really happy..but of course, this is not to say we are contented staying here. Piggy told me he wants to get out of this place real soon...and I am so happy to hear that!! Yes, my dear piggy, I knew he would feel the same way as I did..heehee...

Then, Piggy asked the maid to bring me to the nearby "jie shi", i.e. street markets to shop shop and I bought some really nice and cheap stuff there..was thinking maybe my friends and I can start an online biz if I can discover enough cheap places selling nice stuff which Singaporeans would buy..heehee..Shall post up the pics soon cuz the stuff are in the wash...

Then, we also discovered this nice eating place, called "Pho 24" selling really nice beef noodles and the coffee and avocado drink there simply rocks!! And the price rocks equally, with a big bowl of noodles costing only 24,000 VND, i.e. SGD$2.40 (hence the name Pho "24"). Was joking with piggy that we could open such a place in Singapore & call it "Pho 48" since it's not economical to sell beef noodles for SGD$2.40 in a restaurant or cafe. I like the place and I think it's one place we will visit again.

Some days back, we also discovered this pizza place opposite Omni Hotel, which sells pizza (of course!), pasta, fried rice and other western food. The shop looks air-conditoned from the outside but when you step in, you realise that it's actually open-air with lots of fan blowing cold spurts of water around..interesting little place and the food didn't taste too bad. And where can you get pizza for like SGD$5?

I really enjoy time alone with Piggy, exploring places, discovering new eateries and just simply having time to ourselves...cuz Piggy & I are such foodies, esp Piggy and he can eat himself bloated and still continue eating..haha..Actually, it would be good if we had more time to explore the little nooks and crannies of Vietnam. Yup, although we both dislike this place and are dying more than anything to jet back to Singapore, since we are here, this place is still worth exploring, since it is to some people, quite an exotic place to be in. Hopefully, when Piggy has time, we can visit the beautiful beaches of Nachang...

Piggy had recently gotten into this photo-taking craze..hmm..actually, he always had this love for photo taking, but recently, he has been snapping just about anything in sight, from buildings to stray animals to grasses and flowers...why?? Cuz just last month, his friend helped him buy a new camera, which I brought back for him...here is his treasure and pride, his beam of joy..

Before Piggy bought this camera, he was contemplating whether he should buy it, and we were discussing whether it was a worthy investment. In the end, we both felt it was something we would buy sooner or later, cuz I told Piggy that next time, when we have a baby, he should buy a good camera and take lots of lovely pics of our future bundle of joy..then he said, he should start practising first..and so....this camera came along..haha

Kimmie scribbles
3:07 am |

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Friday, June 23, 2006
Is the job for me?

Yesterday, after I finished my blog entry, I received a pleasant surprise from my friend. She sent me a msg from her friend, who was asking if she knew anyone, who was keen to work in Vietnam for a period of 9 months as administrator. Although I still dun have too much details about the job, it sounded rather administrative and the pay was certainly attractive! And the funny thing was that her friend stated that "qualifications did not matter", which was surprising cuz even with my qualifications, I doubt I can command such a pay at this stage in Singapore unless I were to slog like mad. However, one of the conditions stated that after the 9 months, the candidate would be based elsewhere and I dunno where. Since my sole purpose is to be here to be with my hubby, I obviously wouldn't want to be based elsewhere after 9 months, unless that "elsewhere" is Singapore. So I am not too sure if that's a condition they look for when they are assessing the candidate. And I also dunno if the 9 months period is a binding contract...

Well, I have prayed about it..so I shall just leave it to God. If the job is meant to be mine, it will be. If not, it probably isn't...and God probably has some other plans for me...

But whether I get the job or not, I wanted to bring up the issue of the pay. It was almost equivalent or probably higher than what Hubby is drawing here. So that's just another point to prove that he is really underpaid and overworked here! Cuz a mere admin job which does not require any qualifications can command such a pay, what more a job like his, which is supposedly more high-tech and important in nature. Shouldn't his bloody company be paying him more? I dun really care if his company's annual revenue is so high and so high cuz at the end of the day, so what? Their employees slog like mad and get paid like peanuts!

Then now, although he has pushed away his boss's request to fly to Manila next week, his boss said it's good for him to go..cuz he wanted hubby to go there and take care of the nitty gritties. So his boss said I could tag along but who will pay for my air ticket? His company is definitely not going to sponsor... and Manila is not exactly a safe place to be in at this moment...I really wonder why the other person going with his boss can't do the nitty gritties. Hubby said that that guy "dunno how to do anything one"..then why employ such a person? Isn't he a waste of the company's money and resources? And they are paying for his air ticket there!! I really can't believe the way his company works..to think that they are paying for another incompetent person to go along...

And I know that once this Manila thing gets kicking, it's going to be another neverending story. And if hubby gets involved, he will be flying there no end again like Taiwan...and now that they have deferred their plans of having a Singapore office, I think it's really highly unlikely that he will get to be stationed in Singapore anytime soon unless he quits this damn bloody job.

My friend once told me that she has a couple friend, who flew around all the time and even had to plan time for making babies. Yeah, but then do you know what kind of money that couple was earning? Each of them is earning like a 5-figure kind of income...at least if you reason it out, it is well worth the money, other things aside. But for the peanuts that Hubby is getting, they are expecting him to do everything at their beck and calling? This is absolutely ridiculous!

I know Hubby is tired and sick of this job too..and I know he yearns to go back to Singapore and have our own house, drive our own car too...but it seems like we dun have much of a choice but to be stuck here for the moment....sigh...

Kimmie scribbles
10:51 am |

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Thursday, June 22, 2006
Am I being unreasonable??

Just imagine if you were in my position, having given up a job which pays like 2/3 of your husband's salary to be with him in an underdeveloped, boring and yucky place where communication is difficult and his travel schedule has been something like this for the the past mths since our wedding:


11 Mar - Our wedding
13 to 17 Mar - Our Honeymoon
20 Mar - Hubby went back to HCMC
24 Apr - I flew over to HCMC to join him on unpaid leave.

From the dates, you can see that it was more than a month before I saw my hubby again, bearing in mind that we are newly weds, not some old couple who has been married for donkey years.

27 Apr - Hubby left for Taiwan
1 May - I flew to Taiwan to join him
4 May - We flew back to HCMC together

This was probably the 1st and last time I can join him when he is travelling again cuz he travels too frequently and it's just not practical to be spending this type of money following him when he is purely on business. And one air tic from HCMC to Taiwan costs like a damn bloody USD$390 and it's on Vietnam/China airlines, mind you...not SQ or anything fantastic!

16 May - Hubby flew to Taiwan again
18 May - I flew back to Singapore cuz his Taiwan trip = 2 weeks
26 May - Hubby came back to HCMC
29 May - Hubby flew to BK
31 May - Hubby flew back to HCMC and I flew back to HCMC

Supposedly after this, his travelling would die down..but no...

7 Jun to 10 Jun - Hubby flew to Taiwan again!!!
19 Jun to 20 Jun - Hubby flew to BK!!

More travelling to come:
Today is 22 Jun and he just told me that he pushed away his boss's request for him to fly to Manila next week but if I m agreeable, he will go. Not forgetting to mention that he is expected to fly to Taiwan sometime in early to mid July.

What is this man? His boss thinks he is air steward, is it? Look at the frequency of his travel. I really dun wish to bring up the pay issue again cuz as I have analysed in my many past entries, it is totally not justifiable.

Then talk about family planning..how to have babies like this? If you dun already know, women are only fertile for a certain period of the entire menstrual cycle and this period can be as short as just 3 - 4 days, so if you miss it for that month, that's it. You won't be able to get pregnant. With such crazy travelling schedules, I really dunno when we are ever going to have a baby. Talk about family-friendly working environment, this definitely is not it!!!

Then my friends asked me what I m doing here when my hubby is travelling so frequently in HCMC. Aren't I better off in Spore, working and earning my own money when it's not like he is here all the time although I gave up everything just to be with him? Yeah that's certainly true, but if I were to be in Spore all these time, I probably wouldn't have seem him for the past 3 mths, considering that he has not returned to Spore since our honeymoon in March!!

And talk about expat benefits, I have none for being the spouse of a so-called expat. Air tickets are out of our own bloody pockets and if I were to fall sick here, it would be all at our own expense. And this damn bloody house we are staying in, although it's what people call a terraced house in Singapore, it sure doesn't give me the feeling of home. Every morning, at 6, 7 am in the morning, those construction workers will be hacking and drilling away at a house they are renovating nearby and it's totally crazy. You dun even need an alarm clock here, I tell you. The noise is sure to wake you up!

My friends asked me why in the first place did I ever agree to him coming here to work? It's not like I'm stupid right, if I knew it was like this in the first place, I would never have supported his decision to come here. Things are certainly not as rosy as what he had said when he was first considering taking up this job. Most of what was said certainly did not materialise and the situation now is NOTHING close to what was expected.

Yeah, I understand that he has his reasons for not leaving at the moment, "political" reasons, which I wouldn't say are totally non-justifiable. Just that I think that in about everything, you gotta always look at the big picture, what about me? What happens when my unpaid leave is up? I m supposed to go back and work on 1 Nov, but I' m quite sure that whatever is supposed to happen would not have happened by then. And then what? I go back to Singapore on my own? Afterall, some people would say that I have survived being separate from my hubby for more than half a year before I joined him here. But honestly, that wasn't at all in our plans. It's just that things kept getting delayed and things kept changing. The truth is I really dun wish to live separately from my hubby..Perhaps I'm a more practical and systematic person, I hate to "take things as it comes". I need to have some assurance, some plan, some promise of something more certain although I know that nothing's predictable in this damn world..

Perhaps some people may think that I m not being reasonable, but honestly, from the bottom of your hearts, for those of you in a relationship or married, how many of you would want to live separately from your partner in different countries? Some people can't even stand not meeting their partners once every week. It's always easy to comment and judge but when it comes to yourself, it's more difficult than you ever think it would be...

Kimmie scribbles
12:41 pm |

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Monday, June 19, 2006
Baby Hopes...

Was just looking through LC's baby's album...wow..he is so cuteeee!!! Her hubby & her look so blissful and happy with their baby at ECP...I really wish I have a baby like that, with dimples some more..dunno whether next time, my baby will take after my piggy and have cute little dimples ..I really hope so : )



Was also talking to HS about having babies just now...sigh...really very hard to get preggy man..how come everyone around me is pregnant? Think Piggy & I should work harder man..

She was telling me her friend was selling this ovulation kit, which is supposed to test when you are ovulating, hence increasing the chances of getting pregnant!! Think I will buy from her when I m back in Spore...Heh heh, I can't wait....: )

Kimmie scribbles
6:57 pm |

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Sunday, June 18, 2006
Egg Masks!!!

Was just surfing the web for the type of egg masks for the face and was amazed by the variety!!
There are thousands of recipies involving all sorts of fruits or vegatables and even oatmeal...it was really interesting discovering all these.

Anyway, was so inspired by my research that I tried the egg white mask just now..feels not too bad...maybe I will try the egg yolk one tmw..read about all the benefits...wow!!

Tmw, Piggy is going to Bangkok...arggggh...I really hate it when he is not around...but well, it's only for one day...

Kimmie scribbles
7:29 pm |

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Saturday, June 17, 2006
Compact Way of Packing Makeup

1) Makeup Box..wow..so neat & compact...2) Brush Case...cool...
3) Eyeshadow & Blush Palette...for convenience & variety..
Holds up to 16 eyeshadows on both sides or 8 eyeshadows plus 4 blushes on each side!

Kimmie scribbles
6:12 pm |

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Snaplets of our life here...

Just came back from "Satay House"...had a good meal and met a Singaporean group over there. It sure is heartwarming meeting some familiar soul, who can communicate intelligently with you...

Have been trying to cook some decent meals for Piggy since I came back cuz picked up some knowledge from my MIL when I was back in Spore the last time and felt quite happy that the attempts didn't turn out too bad. And I was also happy that for the past 2 wks, Apple wasn't around to "disturb" me.. cuz she can be quite irksome to have around sometimes, especially when it comes to cooking, cuz she always thinks she is the only one who can cook in this whole house. I m not saying I m very good, I have only started to learn and I m keen to learn more but the kind of things she says sometimes is really very "bu ke qi".

Once, Piggy & I bought a metal plate cuz Piggy said there was no metal plate at home and we could use it to steam stuff, like what his mom always does. Then when Apple saw it, she asked me why there was an additional metal plate in the house. So I explained to her what Piggy said, then she said "Why buy metal one? Can use the porcelain ones mah"...and snobbishly added on this "bu ke qi" statement:


(translated into english, it means something like this: "A person who dunno how to cook, still want to buy things!!!")

Wah lau, I was damn pissed when I heard that...she thinks dunno how to cook, cannot learn how to cook, is it? Anyway, Piggy himself is actually quite a good cook...so I told her that Piggy cooked often when he was in Australia and even his classmates said it was nice. Then, her tone was like "cannot believe it" kind of tone....but she kept quiet and had nothing to say after that...

Then now that she has come back, she will say things that implied that when she was away, we surely eat out everyday kind of statements, which really made me very fed up! You know, the truth is, she hardly even cooks even when she was around and NOW, she is saying that we were impacted just because she wasn't around!! What makes her think she is so indispensible??!!!

And after she knew that Piggy & I would cook for ourselves regularly, she still asked questions like "You dun go and buy vegetables, do you?" Wah lau, dun buy vegetables, cook what? Play with the cooking utensils, is it?

Then I also think that sometimes, she is very "fake". Like, she will tell Piggy that she bought 5 pairs of shoes from China and they were very cheap, costing not even S$100. But she never mentions the branded shoes and stuff she buys. She thinks we are stupid, is it? We can also see that all her clothes and things she carries are branded ones. Of course, I'm not saying she needs to tell us about everything she buys cuz it's her damn bloody business and we dun care, but what I cannot stand is this: "Why always make herself sound like such a "thrifty" and "housewifely" person' when in actual fact, she is not?!" Wah lau, I think the more I get to know her, the more I feel she is not what she seems...

Then Piggy once said to me, "He wonders if his brother will spend money the way Apple does?" Cuz he also feels that she is always very generous with her money when we go out, and we feel that that's because at the end of the day, she is not spending her own money but his brother's money...and we both cannot stand the way she talks to waitresses and other service staff...to put it bluntly, she is kinda rude sometimes...she always behaves, as tho she is a queen and they are her slaves..wah lah, I think those people also deserve some basic respect lor...

On a happier note....yesterday evening, Piggy & I went to this hairdresser within walking distance from the place we are staying in. He, to cut his hair and I, to do treatment for my hair. Cuz the maid told me that it is very cheap to cut and do treatment for hair in the local salons, infact according to her, it costs like S$3 to S$4 to do treatment for the hair, and I thought it was a good deal since when you go to a salon to do treatment, they basically just slap treatment cream on yr hair and steam it. I dun see how different it can get wherever you do it, since the quality is in the treatment cream and nothing else. Anyway, it really was cheap and they had a variety of hair treatment cream for me to choose from, including brands like "Paul Mitchell" and "L'oreal", which some salons in Spore also uses, although it was not as cheap as what the maid had told me. I wonder if they "raised" the price just cuz they knew we were foreigners. Anyway, it was still considered cheap cuz both of us only paid S$15 for his haircut and my treatment all together! In spore that would have cost a good S$70 in a neighbourhood salon..

Kimmie scribbles
3:46 pm |

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Friday, June 16, 2006
Bits & Pieces of Life

Still feeling quite sore over what happened yesterday. Nothing really big happened actually, maybe it was just the accumulation of little things that made me so upset and maybe it is always the same old thing. Guess I just felt that my views or opinions were never really that important, cuz at the end of the day, everything still gets done his way and I basically just have to fit into the picture. I told my hubby that all I wanted all along was to get married, stay in Singapore, get a flat and lead a normal life with a normal, decent job. Although it was something so simple, yet I was nothing close to that. And after so many discussions on how much I wished we could go back to Singapore, the conclusion is still the same and I'm just so tired. Yeah, I can't say for sure that we won't be going back for good soon, but at the moment, I dun feel that he has any concrete plan to pack his bags and head back to Singapore any time soon. It's certainly not in his plans so I really dunno what's going to happen to me....

He asked me, "Dun I want to give our children a better life next time?" Sure, I would want to, but does it mean that the ONLY way we can do it is by working for his cousin in Vietnam or Malaysia? I dun see how, if we work in Spore, we can't provide decently for our kids in future. Furthermore, it's not like we didn't have much of an education. Both of us are graduates and we should have decent earning powers in Singapore where qualifications are recognised and families are deemed important, unlike here. And if you are talking about giving our kids whatever they want and giving in to their whims and fancies, I m not about to let our kids grow up that way, thinking they are "princes" or "princesses". It doesn't mean that if children get whatever they want when they are young, it means that they have the best life. Cuz in the process, they lose sight of certain important values and take things for granted and when they grow up, they crumble if they encounter hardship.

I would want our children to be brought up, with good values, appreciating what they have and not to learn to show off just because they have a comfortable life. One of my friends, who is very well-off (she is holding a managerial post and her husband is a pilot) once told me that although they had no problems with money, she never let her 2 kids think that they can get whatever they wanted or whatever their friends had, cuz she didn't want them to become "spoilt" and take for granted that the family had money and could easily afford what they wanted. So she said that although her children came home, telling her that their classmates bought this or that or went to Disneyland or whatever, she never gave them the impression that she will do just as what their friends' parents had done. She teaches them good values before giving them any rewards she may have for them and I think that's a good way. And no, she isn't one of those parents who forces their children to study and get top grades before rewarding them as well. Cuz at the end of the day, results don't make a person. Sure, it helps you sail through school if you always get top grades, but that's about it. There's a lot to life just plain grades.

Yeah, I know my hubby is not saying that he wants to work in this line for a lifetime, but to me, a few years is bad enough. Cuz what will happen to my job? There is basically nothing I can do here, that will give me the kind of pay I was getting in Spore, nothing even close to it. And to me, whatever experience he may have gained in this job will probably not be very relevant when he goes back to Singapore to look for another job and the longer he drags it, the more it will be so.

Oh well...I just feel that I m not in a position to do anything. Talks..we have had loads of them..but it's no use lah, the conclusion is always the same. And at times, he will say out of anger "Ok lah, if this is what you want, I will resign and I go back to Spore." Yeah, that's what I want but it certainly isn't what he wants from his tone. I feel that it's about OUR life not just about HIS life alone...

So I m feeling damn upset now...and the worst thing is I dun even have friends to talk to here. Yeah, we keep in tough via msn but it's different from being able to meet up or talk face to face.
And if you are thinking about Apple, I dun really see her as much of a friend. She is just something like a future sister-in-law, cuz honestly, I feel that we are very different persons with very different values and perceptions about life. So can maintain conversation on a very surface & cordial level but that's about it. I dun foresee myself ever sharing with her anything very deep.

She just came back from China but anyway, it doesn't make a big deal of a difference to me whether she is around or not. Cuz early this morning, she already went to her favourite hideout of all times, the casino. And when she came back yesterday, she was complaining non-stop about my bro-in-law's friend's girlfriend. Honestly, although I dunno that girlfriend very well and can't say much about her, but sometimes I think that the way she criticises people maybe abit too much lah. Think about it, if you were in that person's shoes, you would probably have reacted the same way. And the things she tells me also reveals that perhaps she felt a tad guilty about the way she spends money.

She related that my bro-in-law's friend's gf, who is in her mid 30s and quite a high income earner, said something like this to her, "Actually, I earn my own money and buy my own stuff, I dunno why my bf always complain and tell me to stop buying this and that. It's not like I m spending his money." Well, Apple found that offensive, cuz she said that the girlfriend seemed to imply that altho Apple herself was not earning money, she was still spending my bro-in-law's money. Actually, I told her that she was too sensitive lah, it was probably just a mindless comment. But Apple thought otherwise and told me that she felt that the girlfriend did it on purpose.

To me, anyway, what the person said was true what, feel offended for what? It's true that she is not working and was lucky to have found a guy who can afford to pay for her Armani jeans and LV bag what...you correct me if the statement has no truth in it? Even my friends who are working, have to consider very hard before they want to splurge on that Gucci or LV bag, and her, not even working, can afford such luxuries without battling an eyelid. I think it's time she takes stock of her own blessings..

And she said something like "that girlfriend thinks she is very big deal, just because she is earning alot of money...unlike US, (i.e. me and her), who are dependent on our partners and spend our partners' money...."

Well, maybe the part where the girlfriend feels proud that she is earning a high income has some truth in it but why link it to "US"? I dun think we are anything similar and I dun yearn to be anything close. She is the one who gets 4,5 thousand USD to spend each time she travels back to her home country. I dun think I m very dependent on my hubby financially except for now (and that's because I dun have a choice), but then over here in Vietnam, my hubby & I dun spend much too, except on food & daily necessities. Back in Spore, when I was earning my own money, I also pay for my own things most of the time. Makeup, clothes, skincare, petrol, I pay for them myself. And although I have a sub card under him, I have never used it except for instances when he asked me to sign it in his presence. Yeah, once in a while, my hubby also pays for little items for me and yes, he does pay for meals & movie tickets almost 100% of the time, but that's about it. Big ticket items, which I desire, are paid for out of my own pay, unless it's birthdays or anniversaries..so how can she say we are similar? Furthermore, I m not a sucker for branded stuff..

Kimmie scribbles
4:03 pm |

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006
What's at Stake?

Was just chatting with Estacy and just felt very prompted to write about how I feel. Have not been blogging for sometime, due in part to other distractions like my cross-stitch, which I'm almost completing and my photo arrangement, which I have just completed. Am now doing up another one for our travels, but that will have to wait for the time being...

Been feeling rather moody these days and thinking again about life.... After staying here for a while, I can say with conviction that I really hate staying in Vietnam. Perhaps, I have been trying to adapt, trying to see the pleasant and positive and good side of staying here but the only "good" thing it seems is only because I can be with my hubby. Other than that, after going through all the pros and cons, there is just no absolute reason why our lives would be better off working for his cousin here than working for other people back in Singapore.

First and foremost would be of course "money" because that's probably the reason why people work though there are always the rare and unusual few who claim they love their jobs and are passionate about it. I guess Piggy is also working here for his cousin cuz he feels that there is the prospect of earning far more than what he could have been earning in Singapore. I really dunno...perhaps his bonus may really surpass what both of us could possibly earn for a couple of years, but is money all that matters? Yeah, with money, we could comfortably buy a really nice and big house and do it the nicest possible of ways, but would a beautiful "house" be equivalent to a "home"? To me, a home doesn't need to be the most posh and most expensively-furnished. Yeah, it's good to have such things if it's within yr means, but I feel that the pathway to gaining these things shouldn't be at the expense of other things...things like time, my feelings, etc...

Honestly, I feel damn pissed and sick and tired of the fact that Piggy is travelling so frequently even though he is already based away from his home country. I really dun understand why his boss cannot understand that Piggy has a life to lead. He also has a wife who has given up her job temporarily to be with him in Vietnam. His boss himself also knows how to go back to Thailand to visit his family frequently. Does he think that Piggy is an exception just because his wife has "shifted" here to be with him?

It really upsets me sometimes. I didn't take unpaid leave to spend time alone in Vietnam, while he travels for business. It's bad enough being away from Singapore and now with his frequent travelling, it really sucks. And by "frequent", I mean like once every two weeks or so. And you can't expect me to fly back to Spore every two weeks or so right? Yeah, I know he can't help it but I can't help feeling upset too. I'm human afterall, and having to adapt to so much changes since he decided he wanted to come to this damn place to work is already quite alot to bear. I just wish he could try to understand my feelings sometimes...

As Estacy and I were discussing just now, it's really not that bad coming back to Singapore to work. My FIL's plan for us is that we will work here for a few yrs and then go back to Singapore and according to him, by that time, we could just take on normal jobs and not have to slog so hard like every other Singaporean couple working and paying for their houses with their CPF. It seems to imply that nobody can ever make it big by working in Singapore and most people just slog their lives off paying for their houses. I beg to differ...

Cuz it's quite common for bankers to be earning like 10K a month in Singapore and Estacy was telling me that in her bf's company, the senior staff in their 30s & 40s are earning like 5 figure income, and it's not like they slog very hard. They have decent 5-day wks, perhaps may need to OT sometimes but look at Piggy, he OTs almost all the time if you consider the no. of hours he stays in the office and the wkends he has to be at the office. I dun care if he does nothing much in the office but the fact is he is away from home for this no. of hours and when he comes home, he is on the computer, answering emails and calling his vendors. And he is not even earning half of what those people are earning. And just quoting Estacy's bf as an example, he is my age, i.e. 3 yrs younger than Piggy, with a nomal business degree, and he is already earning higher than what Piggy is earning...and best of all, he works 5 days a week and has time to spend with her on wkends and even on wkdays. And no, he is not a scholar. Furthermore, our earning powers in Spore are supposed to increase with age. Who says you need to slog in Singapore? And I m just quoting one out of the numerous examples out there.

And Piggy once said to me " You think working in Spore will be so good meh? 5-day week with high pay? Alot of people also work on Sats and Suns..." I am not denying that alot of people work on wkends but these are usually property agents, insurance agents and the sales people, and the reason they do so is because they get the most biz when the majority of Sporeans are not working! Of course, I dun want to make it sound like a sweeping statement. I know there are always those who work riduculous hours and get pays that can buy one HDB flat a day, but I m not talking about those people, but I m just making reference to normal people, who can also live comfortably, lead a normal life and afford a HOME.

However, money is still not the main issue. I have brought it up first cuz that's the number one reason why people work. So if you work, and especially so away based elsewhere, you should have a considerably higher income to justify moving there in the first place. Because, it's not just to pay you for working (unlike if we were working in Spore), it's also to compensate you for having to adapt to different cultures and ways of living, for the impact done to your spouse, for the lost of time with family & friends, for the inconveniences caused due to language differences, etc. But as we can see above, his job here already does not meet the very basic requirement of a justifiable income.

2nd thing to consider is interest, cuz that's usually the 2nd thing you look for in a job although it's common for people not to end up doing something they like too. Yeah, Piggy is in the IT department, supposedly doing the "IT-related" kind of job he had hoped to do, but then as can be seen from what he tells me, that's clearly not the case. Apart from a lot of administrative and liaison work, I dun see how he is putting his technical knowledge to use. I even asked him once if it was actually related to what he studied and he said no. Yup, I know that in real life, very often, you dun usually get to apply whatever u learnt in textbks to real life scenarios but the point I m trying to bring across is that his job is nothing close to what he would have been keen to do.

Then the other day, he told me that perhaps, he should switch department to what his brother was doing or perhaps follow his cousin around. But I think that would have been far worse and probably even more unsuitable for him. Cuz whatever his bro or his cousin are doing is nothing related to IT or engineering. And the hours are even more ridiculous. To me, I feel that he should just stop moping around for something which is not even existent in the first place. I just feel that he should just quit searching and experimenting and just go back to Singapore and look for a proper job there so that we can get on with our lives. Tired of the government service?...Look for jobs in MNCs. With the economy picking up, there are more new job openings nowadays and with Piggy's working experience I believe that he can get something better than what he is currently doing, with decent work hours and bonuses. Yeah, perhaps not like the kind you get when you strike "toto" but do we really need this kind of money?

That links to the house..yes, as I have mentioned before, I would really like a place of my own and Piggy probably feels that "No money, how to buy house?"...so of course, got to work. But in my opinion, if we cannot afford a condo now, then buy one when we can afford it, which is definitely not too far away, if we both hold just normal jobs in Spore. Estacy was telling me that alot of the couples looking at condos that she had met during her showflats visits are usually in their early 30s. So that basically implies that if we can't afford one now, we can probably afford one at that time. Then Piggy asked me "You dun want to stay in condo meh? You prefer to stay in flat meh?" Of course, if given a choice, who wouldn't prefer a condo with all the facilities and security? But my point is, it is not a must, and "a house doesn't make a home". And I dun want us to be slogging off our assets to be paying for a condo. And if the condo is empty all the time because of his frequent travelling, then what's the point? Also, I m not really keen about waiting another 3-4 years for a new condo to TOP. Most people will plan for a home either before marriage or after getting married but if we were to wait for a house for this long, then what do we do meanwhile? Stay in Vietnam and continue with this kind of undesirable lifestyle?

I would rather stay in a flat, and make it a real home, one with "ren qi", not an empty house, where the master is always busy making a living. And I feel that both of us can comfortably do that in Spore and still afford ocassional getaways.

With his current job, we hardly have time to travel anywhere, even our honeymoon was a pathetic 5 days 4 nights. Alot of my friends were amazed to hear it, cuz honeymoon is like the "once-in-a-lifetime" kind of travel and usually people splurge both time and money on it. But we couldn't afford the luxury of time...

At the end of the day, I think it's our values that matters, that will ultimately determine what we need to do next. For me, I value family and quality time over money, I won't sacrifice that for any amount of money in the world. Cuz I feel that money can't buy "happiness", at best, it can satisfy for the moment but never for long. You will always feel empty if you have all the money in the world but no time to spend it with your loved ones..but I guess this world is all about money, money and more money, which is where we have to be wary. You may end up chasing money so hard that you lose sight of certain values in the process, and you may never learn to appreciate them again next time.

So the bottomline is that I hope that we will both move back to Spore for GOOD very very soon..I really hate it here! Miss my family and all my friends and all the good food and shopping in Spore!

Kimmie scribbles
4:55 pm |

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